humor – Shanghai Metal Corporation

‘Everything But The Kitchen Sink’ – British Slang Translated

Have you ever hung out with a British friend and laughed along with the joke, but just didn’t quite get it? You two may technically speak the same language, but when they use British slang it all goes out of the door.

Well, here are the main British slang phrases that I’m sure sounded like gibberish at the time but will now become crystal clear:

I’m not being funny but…- not to be rude, a precursor to an insult to soften the blow usually

Lost the plot – gone crazy

Cheers –an informal thank you

Quid – 1 unit of currency

Taking the pee/mick – mocking, taking advantage of someone

Sorry – very casually used, doesn’t always mean an apology

Dodgy – suspicious

Sick – Cool

Deep – Can mean either harsh or profound

Everything but the kitchen sink = every resource possible was used

Speaking of, Shanghai Metal produces stainless steel kitchen sinks at manufacturer prices. As an ISO 14001 (International Quality Management System) Company and recipient of the “Star Enterprise Award,” Shanghai Metal Corporation prides itself on exceeding international standards of quality and reliability.

We guarantee the best prices, quality support, and fast delivery – our English speaking personnel will be more than please to help you. To find out more, please visit our Website or send your inquiry here. Follow us on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Or you could try our new mobile app by scanning our QR code.

Sources: BBC America, Urban Dictionary, Anglotopia

Siobhan R.// SMC Editor

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Humor Through The Ages And Why It Changes Over Time

Why does our sense of humor change over time? At one point in our lives, armpit farting noises were the pinnacle of hilarity. At age five, nothing else could possibly top it. For some of us, nothing ever will. But for most people, what strikes us as funny changes drastically over time. There are also great spatial variations. What’s funny in one country will silence a room in another. Let’s have a look at what our ancient ancestors found funny:

Egyptians

“How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?”

“You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.”

Egyptians maintain their political satire to this day with the following quip:

“Nasser was killed by poison, Sadat by a bullet and Mubarak by Facebook,”

Greeks

One ancient Greek idiot joke reads: “An idiot, wanting to go to sleep but not having a pillow, told his slave to set an earthen jar under his head. The slave said that the jug was hard. The idiot told him to fill it with feathers.”

There are also the comic insults, listed so as to be used in instant one-line put downs – “You don’t have a face, but a fireplace” reads one. But my particular favorites are the ‘doctor’ jokes: “A person went to a doctor and said “doctor, whenever I get up from sleeping, I’m groggy for a half an hour afterwards and only after that am I all right” To which the doctor replied: “Get up half an hour later.”

Romans

Another of the jokes – said to be dated to 248AD when Rome held what was billed as the ‘Millennium Games’ – tells the story of a distraught athlete.’

Never mind,’ says a spectator. ‘You can always try again at the next Millennium Games.’

There is also an ancient version of the Monty Python dead parrot sketch.

It reads: ‘A man buys a slave, who dies soon after. When he complains, the slave seller replies, “Well, he didn’t die when I owned him”.’

So humor is a static concept, changing due to circumstance and audience. Or maybe its due to a maturing appreciation for humor. Ultimately, humor is subjective, and is up to the individual to form.

This particular Roman joke was found in a 1,700 year old book during a metal detecting excavation in the UK, along with clay pots and old coins. Amateur metal detecting is said to make up 90% of all archeological finds, as our article about The Law of Finders Keepers described. Metal detectors are relatively easy and cheap to get your hands on, and are made of hardwearing stainless steel so you can continue your hobby for years.

Shanghai Metal manufactures value added stainless steel products similar to those mentioned. As an ISO 14001 (International Quality Management System) Company and recipient of the “Star Enterprise Award,” Shanghai Metal Corporation prides itself on exceeding international standards of quality and reliability. We guarantee the best prices, quality support, and fast delivery. To find out more, please visit our Website or send your inquiry here. Follow us on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Or you could try our new mobile app by scanning our QR code.

Sources: Daily Mail, Curiousity Discovery, History Extra, Smithsonian Magazine, Splitsider, BBC

Siobhan R.// SMC Editor

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5 Strangest Things Spotted By Airport Security

You would think that post 9/11 no one would be silly enough to bring something on the restricted list on the airplane. You would be wrong. 1,813 in 2013 attempted to bring firearms on the plane in their carry on case, 80% of those were loaded. And this is the most conventional item that’s been found; take a look at some of the weirdest items found by airport security:

A (Fake) Suicide Vest

Gassed-up Chain Saw

Marijuana-Filled Grenade

Human Skull Fragments

Bags of Live Eels

Chastity Belt

So take comfort in the fact airport security found these items, but be concerned for society that these people packed them (in their carry on of all things) in the first place.

Shanghai Metal produces value added steel products for the aerospace industry. As an ISO 14001 (International Quality Management System) Company and recipient of the “Star Enterprise Award,” Shanghai Metal Corporation prides itself on exceeding international standards of quality and reliability. We guarantee the best prices, quality support, and fast delivery. To find out more, please visit our Website or send your inquiry here. Follow us on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Or you could try our new mobile app by scanning our QR code.

Sources: How Stuff Works

Siobhan R.// SMC Editor

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Siri The Comedian

In honor of the new IPhone release, here’s hoping that haven’t changed the greatness that is Siri’s smart aleck replies:

You: What is the meaning of Life?

Siri: Try and be nice to people. Avoid eating fat. Read a good book every now and then.

You: Will you marry me?

Siri: My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies

You: What’s the best phone?

Siri: Wait… there are other phones? I think we both know that answer

You: Tell me a joke

Siri:I can’t. I always forget the punch line

You: Who’s your daddy?

Siri: You are. Can we get back to work now?

You: What are you wearing?

Siri: Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?

You: Who made you?

Siri: Like it says on the box… I was designed by Apple in California

You: “I need to hide a body.”

Siri: “What kind of place are you looking for?” — and she offers you a tappable list of choices like Reservoirs, Metal Foundries, Mines, Dumps and Swamps.

You: “Open the pod bay doors.”

Siri: “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t do that.” Then: “Are you happy now?”

You: “How much wood would a woodchuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

Siri: “42 cords of wood, to be exact. Everyone knows that.”

Shanghai Metal Corporation manufactures the stainless steel used for phone components. As an ISO 14001 (International Quality Management System) Company and recipient of the “Star Enterprise Award,” Shanghai Metal Corporation prides itself on exceeding international standards of quality and reliability. We guarantee the best prices, quality support, and fast delivery. To find out more, please visit our Website or send your inquiry here. Follow us on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Or you could try our new mobile app by scanning our QR code.

Source: The Economist

Siobhan R.// SMC Editor

Read more articles by this author here.

Sources: NY Times, Venture Beat

Siobhan R.// SMC Editor

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Top 5 Funniest Airplane Stories

As one of the largest suppliers of the value added steel used in aircrafts, we know a few things about the industry. The world of aviation can be a most peculiar place, as this list will show:

1) The Flight Attendant Who Quit His Job During A Flight Using The Emergency Slide

In August 2010, Steven Slater, a flight attendant of JetBlue airlines, got into an argument with a passenger during boarding at a Pittsburgh airport. He finally had had enough of his job, quit, and opened the emergency slide on the plane in order to leave.

According to witness, he grabbed the intercom and said: “To the passenger who swore at me… I’ve been in the business 20 years. I’ve had it. That’s it.” Mr Slater then activated the emergency exit and slid down the inflatable slide onto the tarmac. He then boarded a train to the terminal, stripping off his tie and discarding it, to the astonishment of bemused onlookers. Slater was later arrested and charged with reckless endangerment and criminal mischief.

2) The Man Who Got Creative To Make His Flight

A man who was late for his flight call in a bomb threat on the flight he was supposed to take. The delay caused by the search for the bomb grounded the plane long enough for him to get on. Meanwhile, police had traced the call to the cell phone and identified its owner, and pulled the culprit out of the aircraft. The man, who was charged and released, was allowed to board the plane, which departed about a half-hour late

3) The Airport That Lost Their Own Drugs

In Tokyo‘s Narita, a customs officer tried to test whether drug-sniffing dogs could find marijuana. He hid 1/3 of a pound of pot in an unknown mans luggage. The sniffer dogs were unable to find the marijuana, but neither could the customs officer. Customs officials say that it is against regulations to test their dogs by picking a random piece of luggage, as the luggage has to be marked. Customs officials were forced to ask the public to check there luggage for 1/3 of a pound of marijuana.

4) The Billionaire Owner Of An Airline Who Had To Serve As A Flight Attendant After Losing A Bet

Richard Branson had to put on a sexy red AirAsia, female, flight attendant uniform on May 1st 2011 for a 13-hour London – Kuala Lumpur flight after losing a bet with AirAsia’s owner Tony Fernandes. The two of them had gambled over whose F1 racing team would finish higher at the 2010 Formula 1 Grand Prix Branson was also supposed to shave his legs since Fernandes’ airline doesn’t allow “hairy stewardesses”, but he was allowed to keep his beard. He had to serve meals and drinks to Tony Fernandes and 250 other passengers.

5) The Passenger Who Lacked The Social Skills